I was going to start off by saying ‘Ok, so I learnt a lot of things today’ but I’m not going to. Although that statement is true, the value is diminished each time I say it. Just as the value of respect people have for me is, when I go on one of my attention-seeking routes.
This week I went out of school and burnt all my childhood photos. Well they weren’t just childhood ones. They were every single physical photograph I had of myself and family, in my possession.
've Realised That in order to Stop Being so damned pathetic and 'wrapped up in my own emotions' (as my dad says, and my ex best friend), I Have to Take Responsibility for myself. Because, you see, What I do is I blame Every single bad thing on my childhood. What Happened back then. And Blaming Everything That goes wrong, Everything I am, Everything I do, on Something That Was out of my control has caused me so much shit.
Blaming Everything on my past has caused me to re Not Haveponsibility for my own actions. To be 'external' (Locus of Control!). Before today, Before this week, Before all the wake up calls I've had to snap the fuck out of my 'poor me' bubble, I believe in fate.
I believe in fate. I Believe That You Already Are Our actions laid out and Chosen for us. I Believe That Our whole Already Chosen path WAS, THEREFORE, What Happens, happens. I guess I let this be my excuse for Letting Things leak out of my control.
But in the past couple of months (Especially when my ex ex best friend told me in March 2010 t
Have you pretty muchloathed,
even to this day, your ex schoolmates?
If ‘yes’ then maybe you should whack out all the photo albums, take a trip down the field in the middle of work, bring a flammable substance, and set those photos the fuck on fire.
What I say makes it sound like a positive, apathetic action. It was a very upsetting experience but the most positive action I’ve taken in a long time. After all, pho
